Raise your hand if you grew up in purity culture...

I was ashamed of sex, of my body, of all of it. There were scars, there was heartbreak, there were years of relationship lost-including with myself.

When I hit perimenopause, my body went haywire. I've carried three babies, lost one, lost another and almost myself in an emergency ectopic rupture. Our bodies are the true warriors in our species. And sex? Pleasure? It's pushed to the side.

I started HRT this year with an incredible specialist who has spent years studying why our bodies need hormone replacement earlier than doctors previously thought because-surprise-they didn't look that deep. And with it, came this surprising rush of need. The need for touch, intimacy, sex, pleasuuuuuure. It wasn't immediate, but it grew as I started listening to my body more and more.

What does this have to do with books? (Well, everything can be tied to books), but let's talk about it. One, our sexual freedom to reach for the romance genre, which outsells every genre every year and has for decades says a lot. We are sexual creatures. And even if it's not because we want to be touched, (because sometimes in real life, ew), the romance genre can point to what we desire: to be seen. To be chased. To be looked at, really looked at and cherished.

In a world that revolves around men, the romance genre has bowed down to women, and our hearts, our wisdom, our passion, our safety, our bodies. In a world that does not serve women, in books we find men on their knees, (metaphorically and literally), and in return women still give. Isn't that wild? Women are the true leaders, because great leaders are great servants. Men have not mastered that in our world.

I do write romance into my books. I know they are mostly about self and deep friendship, centering around women, but there is a deliciousness to a little yum yum added. I write romance very intentionally. In fact, when I write a spicy scene, it's typically the last scene I will add in a draft. If my story and the characters cannot stand on their own without the bam! then I have not developed the relationship enough-it hasn't been earned. (Curses Dance with Bourbon is up for preorder now!)

I am going to link a few books below that are fantastic. One is nonfiction and a read I think every woman (and every man who wants to take care of women and serve women) should read. The others are fiction and important. Romance is important. Our bodies, intimacy, our sexuality is important. Awoman! Awoman!